Day: December 31, 2020

The Moneyist: ‘I planned to buy new tires for the winter’: I didn’t get a stimulus check because I owe back child support. It’s so morally wrong. Will I get one this time?

Dear Moneyist,

I have 2 kids and I pay child support. I have one daughter who I didn’t know about until she was 5 years old. My arrears for child support have kept me down most of my life.

My credit score never goes past 515. I have a hard time making ends meet, so I applied for the $1,200 stimulus check in September. I was under the impression that I would receive this much-needed money. I planned to buy new tires for the winter. ( I still don’t have new tires.)

The Moneyist:My husband, 67, wants to leave his $2 million estate and home to his disabled daughter and his sister’s kids. Can he do that? I could outlive them

I feel like this relief fund should be exactly that: A relief fund for all Americans. I was hoping that, no matter what debt was owed, Americans could receive this COVID-19 economic stimulus payment. But — no! Minnesota’s child-support program took all the money.

The government could have left me with at least some of this money, but it took all of it. This is so morally wrong and unfair. Please help!

John

Dear John,

I feel for you: You are playing catch-up with child support for a daughter that you didn’t know you had fathered. It’s a complex and imperfect system, and of course it would have helped had you been informed earlier that you had a daughter.

I commend you for doing your best to pay your way and take care of your child. Just because you are behind on child-support payments, that does NOT make you a dead-beat dad. The mother of your child did not inform you when she had her child. That is the hand you were dealt and, by fathering this child, that is also the hand you also dealt yourself. The good news is you should receive the $600 stimulus check. Unlike the first round, it will not be withheld due to back child support.

In the eyes of the government, the financial burden should not be shouldered by one parent alone, and “how was I supposed to know that I fathered a child?” is not typically enough to relieve the father of the financial responsibility of retroactive payments. It just doesn’t wash. This is where you must also take a hard look at your own part in this situation. You were there, you fathered this child, and whether that was intentional or not, you must be held accountable in the eyes of the law.

The Moneyist: ‘I’m lucky to get by on $75,000 a year’: The $600 stimulus program doesn’t sound reasonable to me. Why am I left out?

It’s also worth remembering: If you were the mother of this girl, you would feed and clothe her, take care of her 24/7, pick her up from kindergarten and drop her off, and adjust your work schedule to ensure that you can fulfill your responsibilities as a working parent, while progressing in your career. You would raise your daughter to the best of your ability, help her with her homework, and ideally provide an example of how to be a productive and responsible member of society.

The one person that must take priority in cases such as yours is the child, and that is how it should be. You didn’t buy new winter tires with the $1,200 stimulus last summer, but maybe take heart in the fact that the mother of your child may have been able to buy her a new pair of shoes.

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com

Want to read more?Follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitterand read more of his columns here

Hello there, MarketWatchers. Check out the Moneyist private Facebook FB, -1.77%  group where we look for answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

The Moneyist: My husband, 67, wants to leave his $2 million estate and home to his disabled daughter and his sister’s kids. Can he do that? I could outlive them

Dear Moneyist,

My husband is 67 years old with an estate worth $2 million. His first wife died. He has a severely handicapped daughter and we signed a prenup when we married three years ago.

He has a sister who is a year older than I am. I am 64 years old with two adult children from a previous marriage that ended in divorce. His sister has a son and daughter, and she has two granddaughters.

My husband wants to leave our house, which he owns and bought before we married, for as long as I live. He does not want my children to inherit it when I die. He wants it to go to his sister’s family.

The Moneyist: I took care of everything after my father died. My aunt, who claims she’s entitled to $27,000 in his bank account, says I only care about his money

Can he prevent my children from inheriting property he wills to me? The bulk of his estate is going to his daughter’s trust and sister anyway. It’s possible I may outlive his sister and daughter.

I know I’m the newbie here, but it just seems a little harsh that I can only have the house to live in and not sell it, if I need the money for future medical expenses.

He’s very controlling of his money. What do you think?

The New Wife With a Prenup

Dear New Wife,

Maintaining control of his money and/or managing his money is distinctly different from being controlling about money. It’s his money and it’s up to your husband to do with it as he sees fit. That includes taking care of his daughter financially, in the event that he predeceases her. Giving you a “life estate” or “right of residence” in his last will and testament is more than generous. You don’t have to worry about never having a place to live.

It’s time to right-size your expectations. You’ve been married to this man for three years. He is retired, I presume, and has lived a long and healthy life. As you said, you were not a couple when he earned most of this money and in a community-property state you are not entitled to any money that was earned before you married, even if you divorced. In a separate property state, I can’t see a judge awarding you his home and 50% of his assets.

You can look into a health savings account (HSA) to help save money for retirement, especially health-care expenses in your retirement. You are eligible if you have a high-deductible insurance plan, but it also allows you to shelter up to $3,550 (for an individual) or $7,100 (for a family) in pretax money, which is withheld by your employer (or set aside by you, especially if you buy your own health insurance) and placed in an HSA each year. An estate planner can help you explore other options.

The Moneyist:My mother gave me a substantial financial gift. I gave it back. My soon-to-be ex-husband says half belongs to him

In the meantime, by allowing you to live in his house for the remainder of your days does not mean you own the property. That is a win for someone you’ve only been married to for three years, especially given that you are both in your 60s. If you sold the house, where might that leave his severely disabled daughter if she were to need full-time care or future medical assistance? I see no reason why your children should be part of his estate planning.

His daughter is his No. 1 priority, and that is exactly how it should be. One of the biggest post-retirement expenses has been removed from your life, although you may have to pay for maintenance for upkeep and taxes on the property, depending on your husband’s will. That’s a small price to pay for his generosity. You have at least five more years of work ahead of you. You will have to make them count. I certainly hope you enjoy them.

The Moneyist: ‘I’m lucky to get by on $75,000 a year’: The $600 stimulus program doesn’t sound reasonable to me. Why am I left out?

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com

Want to read more?Follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitterand read more of his columns here

Hello there, MarketWatchers. Check out the Moneyist private Facebook FB, -1.77%  group where we look for answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

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