Author: Quentin Fottrell

I held power of attorney for my late brother. Can I withdraw money from his bank account to give to his favorite charity?

This post was originally published on this site

My brother lived nearly all of his adult life in a foreign country. He passed away recently. Because his death was not unexpected, he had already arranged for all of his belongings and property in his country of residence to be gifted as a sanctuary to the little town that had welcomed him. 

All his estate in this foreign land has been distributed appropriately, according to his wishes. I have been assisting him with his banking in the U.S. for the last 3 years. A very modest amount is left in this banking account — definitely not enough to go through probate court. 

He honestly believed the power of attorney was also the beneficiary of this account, so a beneficiary was not listed. I have the ability to access his account, but also know doing so would not be considered legal. No family member would contest using these funds as a contribution to the sanctuary he established. 

How do I go about withdrawing the money without a will?

The Sister

Related: ‘In their last days, our parents changed their will’: They left me $250,000, but gave my sister $1 million. What should I do?

Dear Sister,

Probate would probably be excessive for such a small amount of money. 

You will most likely be able to submit a “small-estate affidavit” or “affidavit of voluntary administration.” Each state sets a level at which you will have to file for probate; assuming the money in your late brother’s account does not reach this threshold, you can fill out the paperwork to distribute the money to your brother’s heirs and, hopefully, to his charity.

This streamlines and simplifies the distribution of assets. In New York, for example, if your brother died with less than $50,000 of personal property, it’s considered a small estate and you can carry out a voluntary administration. In California, the threshold is higher ($184,500). In Ohio, it’s $100,000 for a surviving spouse or $35,000 for a non-spouse heir. 

If you go this route, you may not even need an attorney, says Diane K. Roskies, a principal attorney at Offit Kurman in New York who advises U.S. and multinational citizens on U.S. trust and estate matters. “In many probate courts, a court clerk will meet with you and help you to complete the required documents,” she says.

Voluntary administrator

Roskies says you should  bring the following documents to the court clerk: an original death certificate; an English translation of the death certificate, and a signed certification by the translator and a notary public; an original recent bank statement, which includes the address of the bank; the POA your brother signed, preferably the original; and photo identification.

The Surrogate’s Court appoints a voluntary administrator. If there was a will, the executor of the will is appointed the voluntary administrator. As there is no will, the closest relative is named the voluntary administrator. As his sister and the person who held power of attorney, which ceased upon your brother’s passing, you would be an obvious choice.

If there was a will, the executor of the will is appointed the voluntary administrator.

The lesson, of course, is to always make a will. Studies show that people with less money and younger Americans tend to not bother writing a will. For those 50 and older, less than half of household heads have a will, but that figure rises to 67% by age 70, according to this survey carried out by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College.  

Those percentages are much lower for less wealthy households and for Black and Hispanic households, the survey found. The three main reasons why people got a will: They had a child (20%); they had a close family member or friend who passed away (11%); and/or their parents, family or friends recommended that they write a will (11%).

Trust versus will

California’s Attorney General says that, when it comes to people with larger estates, it “must be given notice of any matter involving a gift to charity, assets held in charitable trust, disposition or gifts of assets to an unnamed charitable beneficiary, or property that may escheat to the State of California.” Similar laws exist in other states. You can read more here.

For those who want their estate and their wishes to remain private and confidential, a trust will serve them better than a last will going through probate court. When the will is filed with probate court, it becomes part of the public record, and family members, extended family members, friends, next-door neighbors and old high-school classmates can access it.

The grantor, the person who sets up the trust, can also act as the trustee during their lifetime, and they have the freedom to change the terms. They can leave instructions to distribute the assets held by the trust according to their wishes. Those wishes may change over their lifetime. They can also retitle their home, bank accounts and other assets into the trust.

My condolences to you. Your brother was very fortunate to have you.

Related: My stepmother inherited 100% of my father’s estate. She’s leaving everything to her two kids. Is that fair?

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:

Will my second wife be able to access my money if I transfer it to my retirement account?

‘Is this ethical?’ I want to leave my home to my children from my first marriage — and not to my second husband.

‘We have no prenuptial agreement’: Will my wife be able to take my money if I transfer it to my retirement account?

By emailing your questions to The Moneyist or posting your dilemmas on The Moneyist Facebook group, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch.

By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties.

Why are eggs so important in our battle against inflation?

This post was originally published on this site

The Justice Department has launched an investigation into the reasons for the surge in egg prices, the Wall Street Journal reported Friday, citing people familiar with the issue. Antitrust enforcers will focus on whether producers have conspired to hike egg prices.

The price of eggs has risen by 50% over the past year. The average cost of a dozen Grade A large eggs hovers at $4.95, up 240% from $1.46 five years ago. We grudgingly accept those kinds of price hikes with real estate, especially if we are homeowners. But eggs? Not so much.

They’re a symbol of our economic anxiety and — critically — a cheap source of protein and many other nutrients. The rise in egg prices and shortage in egg supplies unnerves consumers and makes us question the wider economic landscape.

About that anxiety: In MarketWatch’s “call of the day” on Monday, a Wall Street bull, Yardeni Research president Ed Yardeni, appears to be getting nervous. “We’re wondering whether Trump Tariff Turmoil 2.0 might trigger a rare kind of flash crash unaccompanied by a recession,” he said.

In an interview broadcast on Fox News on Sunday, President Trump refused to rule out a recession related to his tariffs. “I hate to predict things like that. There is a period of transition because what we’re doing is very big. We’re bringing wealth back to America,” the president said.

The rise in egg prices and shortage in supplies makes people question the economic landscape. 

Eggs are an “inelastic” commodity: as prices rise customers don’t necessarily stop buying them; there are precious few alternatives. Economist Jason Lusk says a 1% rise in price only reduces demand by 0.15% and, if the supply falls by 1%, prices will rise by about 6.67%.

Such is the fascination with egg prices that some people are betting on the price of eggs. Others are investing in eggs or, more specifically, egg producers like Cal-Maine Foods CALM CALM and Vital Farms VITL VITL, in the hopes that prices continue to increase.

A staple in many other foods, from waffles, omelettes and cakes to ramen and pancakes, if the price of eggs continues to rise, so does the cost of all those other recipes. Psychologically, people seem to get more upset about eggs than, say, a Starbucks SBUX coffee. 

They are fragile, have a short shelf life and difficult to import. It takes up to five months to raise egg-laying chickens. Paul Harrison, an Australian economist, has likened egg shortages to the panic over toilet paper during COVID. One obvious difference: You can stockpile toilet paper.

A shortage of eggs “serves as what psychologists call a ‘heuristic,’ a mental shortcut that shapes our broader perceptions,” he wrote recently. “When something as mundane as eggs becomes difficult to obtain, it triggers a feeling that something is fundamentally not working.”

Eggs are now so valuable that they have been targeted by organized criminal gangs. Last month, 100,000 eggs worth an estimated $40,000 were stolen from a trailer in Pennsylvania. At current prices, that’s roughly the equivalent to an American football’s weight in gold. 

The Trump administration last month announced a $1 billion plan to combat avian influenza, to protect the U.S. poultry industry and — in theory, at least — egg prices. But questions remain about the role of producers and retailers in the shortage of eggs, and spike in prices.

They are an integral part of the weekly grocery basket and a potent symbol, illustrating the threat of inflation to American household budgets. More than actual rotten eggs, overpriced eggs are a prime ingredient for politicians to throw shade at each other.

Rep. Kristen McDonald Rivet, a Democrat from Michigan, had this to say to the AP about egg prices: “When that is your day-to-day worry, the philosophical conversations about a constitutional crisis or the democracy is simply not a luxury you can afford.”

There seems to be little hope, so far, that prices will go down anytime soon. The United Egg Producers, a trade group, blamed the outbreak on bird flu and said farmers are doing their best to fight against this deadly disease. Millions of  birds have been euthanized as a result.

Eggs are an ‘inelastic’ commodity: as prices rise customers don’t necessarily stop buying them.

America is obsessed with egg prices, but do we really know why they’re so important? Here’s a taster: one 52-gram egg contains 74 kilocalories, 5.2 grams in fat (only 1.7 grams of which are saturated), 70 milligrams of sodium and — drum roll, please — 6.3 grams of protein.

The average woman needs about 45 grams of protein a day, while the average man needs about 55 grams of protein. What’s more, the average egg is rich in calcium, potassium and phosphorus, and trace amounts of copper, iron, manganese, magnesium, selenium and zinc.

Studies suggest eggs are connected to male sexual function and fertility, and a recent study in the British Medical Journal found they could be related to a lower risk of depressive symptoms. Eggs are also rich in a nutrient called choline, which has a role in early brain development.

Healthline says eggs “are among of the most nutritious foods on earth,” pointing out that one large egg contains 9% of the recommended daily allowance (RDA) of vitamin B12, vitamin B2 (15% of the RDA), vitamin A (6% of the RDA), vitamin B5 and selenium: (22%).

It’s little wonder, given their nutritional value, that people have been buying in bulk: In recent months, Costco COST and Whole Foods imposed restrictions on the number of eggs customers can buy at one time. Kroger KR reported that egg prices rose 70% during the fourth quarter.

Their power to focus attention in a fickle news cycle should not be underestimated. 

Shortages hurt, whether it’s baby formula in 2022 or eggs in 2025. “This, in turn, feeds into larger anxieties about inflation, the economy, the cost of living, and supply-chain vulnerabilities,” Harrison, the economist, says. “It reinforces the growing sentiment that we are living in precarious times.”

“The egg shortage won’t last forever, but it is a symptom of a larger problem; one that will only become more pressing in the years ahead,” he adds. “Climate change, resource depletion, and shifting economic structures will make certain commodities more volatile.”

“The question is not just how we react to these shortages, but how we prepare for them,” Harrison says. “There is no easy fix. But a meaningful first step would be acknowledging that we have been living in an era of extraordinary abundance; one that may not be sustainable.”

Americans eat an average of 280 eggs a year, so it’s no wonder that people care so much about the fluctuation in price. Prices only appear to be going in one direction: The U.S. Department of Agriculture recently estimated that egg prices would increase by 20% this year.

For now, eggs represent an entitlement for working families, and their ability to focus people’s attention in an often bewildering and fickle news cycle should not be underestimated. With Easter just around the corner, they are also associated with Christian rebirth and new life.

And, yes, demand tends to rise at Easter.

Related: Trump’s tariffs will take their toll on fresh fruit and vegetables

My husband plans to leave his entire estate to his adult son, who steals his credit card to gamble online. What can I do?

This post was originally published on this site

Longtime reader, first-time writer. I am seeking advice about my blended family situation. 

My husband of three years is 57, and I am 52. This is the second marriage for both of us, and we each have one child, both of them now young adults. We signed a prenup and keep our finances mostly separate, but we plan to buy a home together when we retire. 

He plans to retire in his mid-60s, and I plan to retire at 70 or even later. We currently live in his home, and I help pay the bills as a contribution to our monthly expenses. We both have assets of our own, but he has about twice as much as I have. 

He has a will leaving everything to his son, which was written prior to our marriage. I don’t have a will but plan to make one soonish, or perhaps just wait because my husband and I were planning to do estate planning together at some point, and I’m sure we’ll be fair.

Dementia runs in my husband’s family. It has affected both of his parents, and he and I are prepared to deal with it if it happens to him. What I worry about is our finances if it were to happen. My husband’s son has been known to take money from his dad without permission. 

‘He took my husband’s credit card and used it for personal expenses.’

From the time he was a tween until now, as far as I’m aware, he has been sneaking cash from his dad’s wallet. When he was around 15, he used my husband’s credit card to gamble online. At 17, he took my husband’s credit card and used it for personal expenses. 

At 18, he added his dad’s card to his Amazon account and started purchasing expensive items without permission. Mind you, during some of these incidents, his son had a job, and each time he did it, he swore up and down he’d never do it again. 

There were other instances, but you get the idea. I would be very anxious if my husband’s son had power over my husband’s finances. If his son squanders his money, we would only be left with my retirement savings, which may not be enough to cover the care that may be required. 

My stepson is not an addict or anything. He just really likes money and material stuff. If my husband gets dementia and there is no living will, is there a chance that his son could get power of attorney over my husband’s finances?

The Wife 

Related: ‘My wife and I are very grateful’: Our son wants to pay off our mortgage before we retire. Will this backfire?

Dear Wife,

You’re asking the wrong question about the right topic.

You do want to hold power of attorney for your husband and, with your agreement, he should set that up now — not when he becomes too ill to make that decision for himself. Otherwise, you could have a battle royale with your stepson on your hands.

What if you die before your husband? Make sure you have a will and up-to-date beneficiary so your child is not forgotten in the mix. There’s a risk that you spend so much time thinking about your husband and his son, that you forget about your own in your estate planning.

Power of attorney should be held by a trustworthy person, and he should set it up while he is of sound mind and without coercion. If he were to give you power of attorney after the onset of dementia, your stepson could have grounds to petition the court to challenge the POA.

For all of the above reasons, make an appointment with a trust and estate attorney today. One week turns into one month, which turns into one year, and the longer you wait, the more likely you are to be taken by surprise by unexpected events.

A power of attorney should be held by someone trustworthy, and your husband should set that up while he is of sound mind and without any coercion. 

Whatever you decide, your husband may wish to set up a trust for you and his son, so that you are taken care of during your lifetime. He could leave an income for his son, if he believes he could squander his inheritance, and a life estate for you in his house.

Power of attorney can give the holder the ability to make decisions related to your husband’s finances or his medical affairs. That includes whether he wants to have a “do not resuscitate” order in the event of a health emergency.

Set one up for yourself too. Your husband’s family may have a history of dementia, but what happens if you have a medical emergency or you are somehow incapacitated? Look after yourself first, and then focus on your husband’s affairs.

Setting up a power of attorney can reduce emotional stress for a person’s loved ones, MetLife says. Without this, a court could appoint a conservator to manage a person’s affairs. “The individual and their family have no control over who the court chooses,” MetLife adds. 

Well-adjusted adults don’t normally steal credit cards from their parents. Your stepson may need support for undiagnosed mental-health issues.

Your stepson may not have substance-abuse issues, but he could have other bad behaviors, including impulsive shopping habits or a gambling addiction that neither you nor your husband are aware of. Or he may simply be addicted to good old-fashioned financial malfeasance.

“Troubled adult children often are master manipulators of their frustrated, desperate-feeling parents,” according to Jeffrey Bernstein, a parent coach and psychologist. “They know the guilt-triggering painful comments to say to their emotionally exhausted, vulnerable parents.”

He could also be struggling with his mental health in addition to his finances. Well-adjusted adults don’t normally steal credit cards from their parents. Your stepson may need support for depression or anxiety or other undiagnosed mental-health issues.

You’ve only been married for three years. A lot can happen over the next three years. If you do buy a home together, make sure your deed is tenants in common with the right of survivorship, if you each wish to inherit your spouse’s share, and not tenants in common.

Don’t get caught up in the drama. Get caught up with your legal documents instead.

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. 

Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

By emailing your questions to The Moneyist or posting your dilemmas on The Moneyist Facebook group, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch.

By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties.

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:

‘She acted as a mother to me growing up’: My stepmother remarried after my father died. How can I claim my inheritance?

‘I believe myself to be an honorable person’: Do I have the right to ask my husband if I’ll inherit his house after he dies?

‘Is this ethical?’ I want to leave my home to my children from my first marriage — and not to my second husband.

I fled our $2.2M home due to domestic abuse. I’m on the loan, but we’re both on the title. My husband won’t sell. What now?

This post was originally published on this site

I have a dilemma, and maybe it’s worthy of feedback. I have been married for seven years in a community-property state. I feel trapped and never intended to be on a mortgage for a $2.2 million house I can’t live in. He doesn’t understand financial conversations and is ignorant of the ways we could otherwise invest in real estate.

I bought a home with my then-fiancé in 2016, whom I married in 2017. Although my husband is wealthy and he contributed a $1 million down payment, I mortgaged the rest in my name. We are both on the title. The money my husband received is all from a trust. He makes no real money himself. There’s $750,000 left on the mortgage. l make six figures.

‘I had to move out due to domestic violence.’

Fast forward to today: The house was refinanced twice and a HELOC was taken out in my name only because I had the creditworthiness. The bank didn’t want him on loan. I had to move out due to domestic violence. At the time, I wanted to get out of that house and have my own safe space. I took my son from a previous relationship and we rented an apartment. 

I have still been living in a rental for almost 4 years while we “work on the marriage,“ which remains volatile and unhealthy. I have tried to divorce him several times, but I have not been able to complete it because he and his lawyers have drastically weaponized the legal system due to his ability to pay non-stop lawyer fees. Where divorces go, money talks. 

I want off the mortgage so I can buy something for myself. Although he has the ability to buy me out, he refuses. He likes to control me with my being stuck on the mortgage. He pays late sometimes. At this juncture, I cannot afford an attorney and a partition motion is also expensive. Am I financially irresponsible to stick around while he remains in the marital home?

Separated & Stuck

Related: I’m 69 and only have $121,000 in my 401(k). How can I repair the damage of the past? 

Dear Separated,

Your dilemma is, of course, worthy of consideration, and you are worthy of a life free from abuse and coercion, and financial control.

You have two choices: allow yourself to be stymied by your husband’s money and uncooperative nature, or take this process of starting your new life, financially, legally and personally, one filing or step at a time, and plow on with your plans to create a safe space for the next chapter of your life. It hasn’t been easy. It won’t be easy. But it will be worth it.

Divorce is expensive, and so is forcing a partition action to get your estranged spouse to sell the house. They can both cost anywhere from $10,000 to $30,000, depending on the complexities, the amount of money involved and, yes, how difficult the other party makes it for you. If you can’t afford to do this yourself, you need to seek legal aid (more on that below).

You may be better off hiring a lawyer who specializes in domestic abuse and who may accept full or partial payment after the sale of your house. You say the marriage is volatile, but this property has kept you tied to your estranged spouse. If that’s the final connection to you, and he can hold that over you, he will continue to do that until you have had enough.

The less you account for your husband’s knowledge of financial matters and the more you focus on your goals — financial and personal independence — the better. Your home should, all going well, continue to increase in value, but so will any home you choose to buy. And with mortgage rates still high, cash buyers have a distinct advantage.

Your husband is, arguably, in a more vulnerable position than you, as the bank will take that $1 million to cover the remainder of the loan if it has to foreclose.

The repeated refinancing has obviously added to your mortgage debt, but you still get to walk away with $725,000 each. You will probably have to downsize, as most people do after a divorce. Your husband is, arguably, in a more vulnerable position than you, as the bank will take that $1 million to cover the remainder of the loan if it has to foreclose.

You live in a community-property state where marital property is typically split 50/50 and you take what you brought into the marriage. But laws vary from state to state. For example, while California considers wealth earned during the marriage marital property, the rules get more complex when domestic violence is involved, and if there was a conviction.

If there is a domestic violence conviction, “the injured spouse can keep some or all of the convicted spouse’s community property interest in their own retirement and pension benefits,” according to Hoover Krepelka, a law firm based in San Jose, Calif. A judge can also enforce a civil-action judgment against the abuser’s share of community property.

“The law prohibits requiring the victim to pay support to a spouse who has been convicted of a domestic violence felony within the previous five years,” the law firm says. “A history of domestic violence is also one of the factors that can be considered by the court in determining a spousal support award, even if there is not a criminal conviction.”

Don’t allow this man to take you hostage. You’re halfway to freedom and a new life already.

Are you experiencing domestic violence or coercive control? Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org. FreeFrom works to establish financial security for domestic-violence survivors, and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Women’s Aid supports efforts to change conditions that lead to domestic violence and coercive control.

Related: I signed a prenup, but my husband refuses to make a will or set up a trust. If he dies, will I inherit his estate?

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter. 

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:

‘He ended up homeless and penniless’: My uncle conned my father into signing over their mother’s house. What can I do?

‘I’m conflicted’: I have two sons — one is a hard worker with kids and the other is a ‘carefree’ actor. Should I leave the ‘family man’ more money in my will?

My sisters want to hide $170,000 of our mother’s money from Medicaid by adding their names to her bank account. What should I do?

Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where members help answer life’s thorniest money issues. Post your questions, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

By emailing your questions to the Moneyist or posting your dilemmas on the Moneyist Facebook group, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch.

By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties.

‘Why am I so afraid to retire?’ I’m 60 and lost $1.2 million in a divorce. Can I rebuild my life? 

This post was originally published on this site

I have no debt or children, as I am no longer responsible for my former stepchildren.

In April 2022, I found myself divorced and living across the country from my family. I am 60, and since my divorce I have saved and invested everything that I can to overcome the loss of retirement savings. As the primary breadwinner, making three times more than my husband, I left the divorce heartbroken, with $1.2 million less in savings and half ownership of an $800,000 house (with no mortgage) that I can live in until I retire. 

My retirement accounts are now worth $2 million. I also have $500,000 in investments and savings that I’ve considered using to buy my ex out of the house. I wonder if it is worth using $400,000 of those savings to buy the other half of the house. Or I could spend a bit more time in this home and use the sale proceeds to buy a smaller house or condo near friends and family.

I initially planned on working until age 62. Over that time, with average returns and maxed-out additional contributions to my 401(k) and IRAs, along with employer matches, those accounts may be worth $2.4 million. I could also add another $100,000 to my savings, bringing me up to $3 million.

‘I am very confident in my career and have an MBA from a top school, but since the divorce I feel financially vulnerable.’

Social Security at 62 would amount to $30,000 a year. Since the divorce, I have spent $50,000 per year, which includes insurance and property taxes. I have $60,0000 in a health savings account to pay for COBRA insurance after I retire, and I would plan on taking advantage of the double duration COBRA period of three years for 62-year-olds.

Now, however, I want to retire in three months to spend time with friends and on my hobbies. I am tired from the divorce and uninspired in my job. Even if I spend $80,000 per year, it seems like I will have more than enough money. If the rule of 4% is applied, I could use savings and the proceeds from my house sale to buy a condo, and at 62 draw $110,000 per year with no debt.

Given that I don’t need to leave an inheritance, I feel like I could probably take 5% and live on $130,000 a year. Why am I so afraid to retire or, at least, pull the trigger on retirement. And why I am reluctant to buy my ex out? I am very confident in my career and have an MBA from a top school, but since the divorce, I feel financially vulnerable.

Gray in the Pacific Northwest

Related: I have fear of financial insecurity’: I’m 58, recently widowed with $1 million saved for retirement. What if the economy tanks?

Dear Gray,

Your divorce gave you wings, and those wings cost you $1.2 million. But you are already flying.

You’re rebuilding your savings. You will give up half of your home when you retire, but you have $2 million in retirement accounts and another $500,000 saved. That’s multiple times what the average American has at your age and, while you are comparing yourself to the person you were five or 10 years ago rather than to the average American, I hope you prefer the person you are today — emotionally, professionally and financially. 

You are reaching the end of your career in very strong shape. Perhaps you didn’t get the encouragement you needed during your marriage, and that has left you feeling more fragile than your circumstances would suggest. Americans between the ages of 55 and 64 who have retirement accounts have an average of $537,560 in those accounts, and those between the ages of 65 to 74 have an average of $609,230, according to the Federal Reserve. I hope that makes you feel proud of everything you have accomplished.

“The bottom-line goal of retirement planning is deceptively simple: accumulating enough money to live the life you want once your career is no longer occupying most of your time or generating a regular paycheck,” according to Edward Jones. “Achieving that goal requires asking questions that have no easy answers: How much money will you need? How can you measure your progress toward a target decades in the future?”

Compare and despair

Comparing yourself to other people is often a fool’s game. Sure, it can serve as inspiration and context, but it can also make us feel like we’ll never have enough. Others may feel those same emotions when they read your letter and wonder why someone in your position is feeling so vulnerable, but you are comparing your life now to the life you believed you would have. While the life you have may be more modest than what you had originally planned, it’s also better.

Now that you are single again, despite how heartbreaking your divorce has been for you, your time is your own. You lost a chunk of your net worth, perhaps, but you have earned back multiples in time, the most valuable asset any of us have. You get to wake up and be the designer of your own destiny, pursue your leisure activities — whether that is skiing or golf or hiking or playing bridge — and then return to a safe space that is yours and yours alone.

I can’t answer exactly why you are afraid to pull the trigger on retirement, but I can offer some suggestions. Even work that is fulfilling can drain your psychological and emotional energy as you enter your 60s, but at the same time, it provides security and gives structure and purpose to your life. It would be weird if you didn’t feel nervous or anxious about giving it up. Perhaps you could explore working part time, or take a long vacation as a test run.

Waiting for Social Security

Hold off on claiming Social Security, if you can. Most people — 28.4% of men and 26.5% of women — take Social Security when they reach full retirement age, which is between 66 and 67, depending on the year a person was born. Meanwhile, 8.4% of men and 9.3% of women wait until age 70 or later to take their benefits, according to data from the Social Security Administration. 

Social Security offers a bump in their benefit amount if they wait, although there’s no advantage to waiting longer than age 70. Research published by economists at the Federal Reserve and Boston University recommended that “virtually all” workers ages 45 to 62 should wait until after they turn 65 to draw their Social Security, and — here’s the kicker — more than 90% should hold out until they are 70. For people born in 1960 or later, like you, full retirement age is 67. 

Social Security is an insurance policy against living longer than you think you might. The best time to claim your benefits is when you stop working. Some people will advise you to take your benefits at 67. If you are more optimistic, you’re healthy and have “good genes,” and you don’t smoke or drink to excess or engage in other activities that could shorten your life, you may feel comfortable waiting until 70. Remember that even if you delay claiming Social Security, you still need to sign up for Medicare at age 65.

Creativity and community

Uncertainty can be both unsettling and an opportunity for creativity and change. Moving is stressful and your home has a lot of memories and probably represents the last piece of your marriage. If your husband keeps his share of the house, you still have a connection to that past. The sooner you buy him out and take back the psychological reins, the more empowered you will feel. Talking with a therapist may help you prepare for the road ahead

Reading your words, I want you to be happy as much as I want myself or that person opposite me on the bus or subway to be happy. I believe the small acts of kindness we show others and ourselves can release those fears of financial insecurity and help us plan ahead with a clear mind. Some people have more than others, but ultimately, we’re all in the same boat.

What was it all for — the hard work, the disappointments, the marriage, the career — if you can’t allow yourself to take the leap into this next chapter? You don’t have to do it today, but the stronger you feel, the more willing you will be to make the jump. Everything you have done up until now, you have done as a couple. This is something you are doing by yourself. But I hope you have friends and a community to support you both now and in retirement.

Related: ‘My retirement is going to be a disaster’: I’m 59 and have $45,000 in my 401(k). I earn $72,000. Am I doomed?

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. 

Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

By emailing your questions to The Moneyist or posting your dilemmas on The Moneyist Facebook group, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch.

By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties.

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:

‘Is this ethical?’ I want to leave my home to my children from my first marriage — and not to my second husband.

I’m 50, earn $172K a year and married, yet I’m still living paycheck-to-paycheck. My family want me to return home. What should I do?

‘I have nothing left for retirement’: My husband and I have 9 kids and $70K in student debt. How do we pay it off?

Compare